~"Abs In A Box"?! File This Under: NO!~

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"I love the male body. It's better designed than the male mind." -Andrea Newman

I never thought about a double standard in the area of beauty/grooming until I came across "Abs In A Box". Yeah, I said "Abs In A Box".

This kit is exactly what it says it is. It's actually abs in a box. Or at least the products men need to give/get the illusion of abs. When I first saw it I rolled my eyes and thought "What sad bastard would buy this?!" and then I caught a glimpse of my makeup trunk and it made me think... As a professional MUA I have an entire trunk filled with products to cover things we have, create things we don't have, and take years off of our appearance. And by "we" and "our" I mean...women. For the most part anyway. It's the norm for me to provide these services to men also...at work. On a shoot/stage/film set makeup and grooming on a man is completely acceptable but other than those scenarios makeup on a man, in my eyes, is so weak. Just plain un-sexy. Which is such a double standard because as a woman I use all of my professional products on myself (in everyday life) creating illusions and masking flaws, and I have left more than my share of lipstick on men's collars... But double standard or not, if a man's abs rubbed off on me I would be filled with disdain. I would be seriously turned off and it's not right but it is what is. So please fellas...only use this product for Halloween. And even then...only if you must.

Abs In A Box Kit For Men:

Kisses Bitches...

Glamour Whore...xoxo

This Falls Under: "You're Doing Too Much... Trying Way Too Hard"~

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“Yellow-colored objects appear to be gold” -Aristotle

I was torn when I saw this product... My first reaction was to blog my disdain for such a tacky product and my second was to not give it any press at all. I went with my first reaction... I had to!!! I couldn't keep my disgust to myself. So with out further ado....

Edible Food Bling. Yes, I said EDIBLE FOOD BLING!! WTF!! Really? Seriously?! I can't.... Apparently there was a need for a tasteless (in more ways than 1) gold and silver hued spray that "blings" your food. "Blings your food"?! "Blings"?! That word should be banned from being uttered...

This poor tomato...

I can't... And anyone who can needs to unsubscribe from Glamour Whore asap.

Kisses Bitches...

Glamour Whore...xoxo

~This Falls Under "I Kid You Not..." : The 2010 Nailympics ~

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"The things that stand out are often the oddities." -Pierre Salinger

The 2010 Nailympics (Yes. It's a real event) were held this weekend in London as part of The Olympia Beauty Show and I just had to share... because if I had to look at it...so do you.

I like the idea of such an event but some people got super carried away. There are Buicks that aren't as big as some of these nail decorations...

I cannot...

These are actually, although non-functional of course, kinda fly...

Kisses Bitches...

Glamour Whore...xoxo

~Carrie Bradshaw Would Never Ever...So Snap Out Of It SJP~

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“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
-Jack Handey

There are certain people it is taboo to criticize or make fun of... Jesus, the handicapped (can we even use that term anymore...I can't remember), burn victims, cancer patients, Oprah, ugly babies ...you get the gist. Well my list of of "How dare you speak ill of ___" includes SJP, yeah that's right...she's above judgement in my eyes. Well...normally...

But...

I noticed something that I had to address.... THE SAME SHOES AT 3 EVENTS?!?!

Why SJP Why?! I mean, I know they're Kirkwoods but...c'mon girl...you're slippin. Snap out of it and change your damn shoes...


I'm sorry Girl, this hurts me more than it hurts you but it had to be done...

The Shoe: Nicholas Kirkwood Suede Platforms With Lattice Detail



The Redundance...

1) NYC SATC 2 Premiere after-party...



2)David Letterman Appearance...



3) Tokyo Airport....



Writing this post was unpleasant but necessary....change your damn shoes Girl.

Kisses Bitches...
Glamour Whore...xoxo

~Rihanna in Viktor & Rolf...I know, I know. It Wasn't About Fashion..But It Was Haute~

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~Every one of us gets through the tough times because somebody is there, standing in the gap to close it for us.~
-Oprah Winfrey



By now I am sure everyone has seen or heard about Rihanna's performance of Bob Marley classic "Redemption" on Oprah. Trust me, I am painfully aware that the appearance was purely about helping the grief stricken country of Haiti and not about fashion. However...I can't help it. I gotta say it. It was haute. Seriously. Haute. I love Viktor & Rolf...



The performance:


You know what isn't haute?! These boots.


Memo to C Breezy: I will not be able to remain impartial much longer if you insist on wearing boots like this. A lover's quarrel I can forgive. These boots I cannot. xoxo ~Glamour Whore

Kisses Bitches...
Glamour Whore...xoxo

~Wow. Branding On A Whole Other Level...And Your Forehead"

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"Your premium brand had better be delivering something special, or it's not going to get the business." ~Warren Buffett

I have a million and one thoughts running through my head right now. Even as I type I still don't know exactly how I feel about this... I'm gonna wing it...

Let's talk branding.


First let's define the word...
Brand(ing): A mark made by burning with a hot iron, as upon a cask, to designate the quality, manufacturer, etc., of the contents, or upon an animal, to designate ownership;

Cattle just came to mind...


I'll get to the point. Central Saint Martins design student Ryan McSorley created, a final project, "Skin By Chanel" is a method to brand your skin with the infamous Chanel "C's". Yes, I'm serious. His theory being, that people who spend the money on Chanel skincare products want the world to know they primp and groom with Chanel. He figures when women (or men) buy a Chanel product, for the most part the world knows due to the logo on the merchandise and he feels you should get the same distinction with your skincare products. He feels it's just another form of product branding..BUT...it is actual branding. How do I feel about this? Hmmmm... I don't know yet.



How it works:
A headband with a silicone Chanel logo on the underside needs to be worn overnight, which then leaves an imprint of said logo visible for up to a few hours. Sounds more like "skin memory" to me. Like when you remove clothing that was a tad tight and have those unsightly marks on your skin for a little while.



I guess I feel it's simply a cute idea. Nothing more, nothing less. However I don't think it's going to be the women who buy and use Chanel skincare products that purchase this system. Nope. It's going to be the teenagers and girls in their early twenties who maybe own 1 Chanel bag (bought by Mom and Dad or a generous boyfriend) and a few Chanel lipglosses that will run around with the Chanel logo imprinted on their forehead...in the suburbs.

Read More HERE

** I feel I should disclaim that I have branded myself in a sense...I have my lip print (my actual lip print) tattooed in pretty hot pink ink on my hip... But that's different!! What?! It is...xoxo

Kisses Bitches...
Glamour Whore...xoxo

~Is That A Lightsaber In Your Pocket Or You Just Happy To See Me?! -Star Wars Burlesque~

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Darth Vader: I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.

Obi-Wan: Only a master of evil, Darth.
[lightsabers clash]

-"Star Wars" 1977



La Club "Bordello" transformed into "Mos Eisley Cantina" for a "Tatooine" style burlesque show... Star Wars Burlesque?! Seriously? Really?! Yes. Star Wars strippers... And it's not just Princess Leia....

Princess Leia: I don't know who you are or where you came from, but from now on you'll do as I tell you, okay? -"Star Wars" 1977



Nope. It's also Storm Troopers, Darth Vader, Jabba The Hut (so not kidding) meets fishnets, corsets and pasties... Omg...it's like porn for space nerds. Some of it is actually glam and sexy and some of it... Not. So. Much. I mean, Jabba The Hut?! I don't judge...but...I'm just saying...Jabba The Hut?!

"If I told you half the things I've heard about this Jabba the Hutt, you'd probably short-circuit." ―C-3PO "Star Wars" 1977



If this is something that gets a rise out your "lightsaber" then hit up LA Weekly to find out where and when...

C-3PO: Don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease -"Star Wars" 1977



Like I said... I don't judge... That's a lie. If you really get turned on by this...even a little bit...you may be a freak. Which is fine...wave that freak flag proudly, get out some twenties and make it rain on Boba Fett!

"I have no wish to offend the Jedi. This would benefit no one."
―Jabba The Hut "Star Wars" 1977




"Impressive, most impressive. But you are not a Jedi yet." -Darth Vader (said to Luke Skywalker) Star Wars 1977

LA WEEKLY

Kisses Bitches...
Glamour Whore...xoxo